Daring to be different.

When I found out that my husband was transgender I did what we all do nowadays, I turned to google; I wanted to learn, I wanted to understand.I began to find all the information about what it means to be trans that I needed. But where were the people like me? The people who loved a trans person, the wives, the partners, the families, surely they must be out there? They were harder to find, the first things I found were negative, tales of marriages broken, of families torn apart, that wasn’t what I was looking for so I kept looking. Gradually I found a few positive stories, blogs that shared the tale of a transition where two people journeyed together and of marriages that survived this, even became better and stronger and I felt there was hope. We joined twitter and found a friendly community of trans people and some spouses. Just knowing that there are other people out there that understand helps so much. Knowing that you are not alone means so much, especially when you are living through something that society as a whole really doesn’t yet understand, something which makes you stand out, means you are different.

So here I am nearly three years later starting my own blog. But why? Because if even one person reads some of my rambling and feels encouraged, or if just one person faced with the mind blowing revelation that their spouse is trans finds this and it gives them hope that they can have a future together, then it is worth sharing our story.

It’s a blog about loving the person on the inside not the package, about journeying together hand in hand prepared to face whatever lies ahead, about daring to stand out from the crowd and say “This is me!” Everyone deserves the chance to be the most genuine version of themselves that they can be and I intend to do everything I can to help Amy on that journey. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy but then very few things in life are and we’ll just keep on working at it.

9 thoughts on “Daring to be different.

  1. Welcome. I am looking forward to reading your blog and adding it to my blog roll. As you say there are few blogs written by spouses and so our partners find it difficult to get support especially from spouses who are truly working to keep the relationship alive.

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  2. Welcome to the blogosphere, although you’re not really new since you’ve been guest blogging for a while. I have pointed Mrs K in the direction of this blog since she is probably more of a target audience than me. Whether she will read it or not remains to be seen but I think it would help her to engage with others in a similar position. So thank you for sharing things from your perspective.

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  3. Keep on blogging while you can, I lost the will to live a couple of years ago let alone the will to blog but I feel it’s really important for us wives to tell our stories out loud, warts and all. All anyone is interested in is the trans journey, the media only care about couples if it’s finished bitterly or all sunshine and roses. The truth is, in most cases, somewhere inbetween, and rather boring in the end! I do hope you’ll have the bravery to say what I cannot x


  4. Thank you for putting yourself out there and being an honest example of encouragement. This journey is not easy but like you said… nothing in life is easy. I know for me personally, this journey, as hard as it can be at times, has been the greatest gift of my life. BUT if you had first told me that I would feel this way someday back when I found out my husband was going to transition, I would have said you were crazy! Looking forward to reading more!

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  5. Great to see, Helen. As you said, one person helped, one marriage saved, and it will all be worth it.
    There will always be differences between different couples’ circumstances and different transitions, but the similarities are more important. Thank you for sharing and helping.

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